Anecdotal evidence, as well as the results from the most recent “Singles in America” yearly survey-which samples 5,000 demographically representative individuals-suggests that the pandemic has caused dating to decelerate further. Relationship experts, Fisher among them, have watched with eager fascination to see what effects the pandemic would have on our romantic lives. Read: The type of love that makes people happiest In a 2016 reissue of her book Anatomy of Love, Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at the Kinsey Institute who has served as an adviser for the dating site Match for more than 15 years, gave these new, extended courtship practices a pithy name: “slow love.” Every stage of the relationship is drawn out: They wait longer to become “official” or exclusive, to move in together, to introduce their partners to their families, to marry and have children. They have less sex than previous generations. They vet partners for financial stability and compatible interests. They cast a wider net than ever before-dating across great geographical divides-and test the waters for long periods over text and videochat before meeting in person. When looking for a soul mate, people no longer rely on blind dates or chance encounters. The way we actually date, though, could hardly be more different. Many today would recognize the appeal of such a picture, however skeptical they might be about the likelihood of this fantasy coming to life. Rapid and deep, true love, for Austen, leaves no room for doubt once it is declared, lifelong commitment-barring intervention by ill fortune or meddlesome relatives-will surely follow quickly on its heels. So begins Jane Austen’s final completed novel, Persuasion-and perhaps no two sentences describe as succinctly the traditional romantic ideal of falling in love. It would be difficult to say which had seen the highest perfection in the other, or which had been the happiest: she, in receiving his declarations and proposals, or he in having them accepted.” “They were gradually acquainted, and when acquainted, rapidly and deeply in love.
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